Those who are afraid of involvement.

Sometimes people encounter a situation when they meet another person, this person touches them with something, everything looks beautiful and nice until suddenly they hear something like: you are wonderful, beautiful, amazing and you are the best person I have met, but I have such problems with myself, that I'm afraid to get involved. It's not about you, because you are great, but unfortunately I have such problems. Or I don't deserve you. Of course, I gave an example of a woman, but men also come in such situations.

First of all, why you should not believe it?

Well, first of all, because such words mean roughly the same as: I don't want you, but I feel responsible for your feelings and I'm afraid to say simply that it's just about you. It also means that man really cares about how he looks in our eyes because there is no such thing as someone who loves but is too shy or too afraid to be together. He doesn't love, at least not enough. I guarantee that when he meets the one he loves, he will not be afraid of involvement or anything else. Can you imagine that you love someone very much and you don't do everything to be with that person? I do not. In any such case it is just ordinary talking and therefore you do not need to pay attention to it. It should one answer for that - as you wish. And go calmly towards exit.

Some neurotic people, when they hear such words, the big love beggins. The love so unbelievable, that it will never happen again. They try to enthusiastically prove to such a person that on the contrary, he deserves me and I will show it to him in all possible ways. They are becoming a lifeguard. They try to melt his heart. They start proving that I will be the one, I will wait for you no matter how long, and I will go on my knees just for you to open up. They start to prove that they are worth to be loved, and the more they do so, the faster their ''loved one'' is running away. Why is it not worth being a lifeguard? The correct answer - because.

Because, first of all, there are qualified people who are paid for it, and to who people would come of their own free will when they will be interested. Secondly, you should always ask yourself what can I improve in MY life, and I guarantee that such spheres will be found. We always have something to work on, because life is a constant work and study. Let's also let others live in peace and focus on ourselves. Thirdly, this is a very ungrateful task, and most of the time being a lifeguard can end in a tragic way for the one who does it. When we want to help someone and we think that this person necessarily needs us, then we take a position from above. There are situations when, for example, a woman with a well-developed career, beautiful and seemingly independent, maintains her alcoholic husband. Why? Because she became such a lifeguard. It seemed to her that she had power over him, because he was so poor and clumsy. Well-qualified pickupers know that it is best at the beginning of acquaintance to just take a position from below, and give someone ''power'' over yourself. And when our savior feels confident and feels control, the charmer packs the furniture on his back and disappears. And the rescuer stays with his finger in the ass, not understanding anything, and often for years unable to cope with the situation. Because he became addicted to this poor thing.

For this reason, let's leave saving other for the qualified people who do it professionally, and let's focus on saving ourselves, only and exclusively. Therefore, if someone is so shy and fearful that he is afraid to get involved in a relationship with us, there is nothing to regret. You have to lose your illusions that it's definitely the fault of his parents, grandparents, employer and lady at the post office. You have to say to yourself, :I'm sorry, he didn't like me enough, I'm not a value to this person, because if I were, that person would not have offer me a breakup.'' And since he offer,ed I agree and I'm going on because somewhere there is someone who will want me as I am and if he really loves me, there will be no childhood traumas.

I know a woman who met a man after very difficult transitions, after a month of acquaintance they lived together with their children from previous marriages and after 3 months they got engaged. This is a guy who was not afraid of anything, he knew that he loved this woman and knew what he wanted. Also, really do not believe in this nonsense like ''I am scared'' and absolutely let the Mother of God defend you from stopping this person if he wants to go. Let him go, wish him wind in his sails and that's it. I guarantee that sooner or later you will meet him walking hand by hand with someone else after some time and if you do not get rid of the illusion in the right time, then it can only hurt and you can feel really really bad. Not worth it :)