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There is a famous saying that says, "Treat others as you would like to be treated." It sounds very noble and by doing so we can even feel that we are very good people and such generous. And that we are Mother Teresa of Calcutta, because someone throws stones at us and we answer with an open heart and a friendly smile. Today we will look at why this saying is pointless and how it can be ended by following it. And you can end up as a martyr. Also, start a pipe or whatever you smoke and let's get started :)
There is an opinion, that people are bad, because they use others and take everything for granted. I can agree with this, but it certainly does not result from the fact that people are bad by nature and just waiting to gut us. It's just human nature that if we get something effortlessly, without putting any commitment to what we got, we don't appreciate it as much as when we first have to invest something in getting it. This is normal and nothing surprising at all. We will spend the money we found on the street faster, than the money we earned with hard work putting effort into it and sacrificing a lot. Therefore, by the way, people who win large sums of lotteries very quickly become poorer than they were before.
But.
How then should we treat others? I think the correct answer is in the post title. So just treat them as they do us. We should be open, have good intentions and not to lose energy for revenge, or any senseless behavior that causes us only harm. BUT. Being open, cordial and kind, loving and honest, engage and committed, we should be only towards the people that are like that towards us. You don't have to force our goodness on someone who doesn't appreciate it enough, doesn't want to and doesn't need it. You don't have to jump out ahead and think that you're so good, that angels are already preparing a place in heaven for you.
A man who gives away his resources, gives attention and energy to any passerby on the street has no respect for himself. If we have no self-respect, we don't demand it from others. People see us exactly as we see ourselves. If for us our resources, our knowledge, our attention and our time is so worthless that we distribute it to the right and left and to anyone, it is obvious that everyone will use it, benefit and spit it out. And the paradox is that most often we blame the whole world about it, how terrible it is. And this is only our fault. Because we don't respect what we've earned. This is probably because we have not put too much into our own development. If it were otherwise, if we were lying on the floor and from this point slowly and with hard work rebuilt your life, then we would sop giving away everything like on a supermarket promotion. We would soon respect and know that we are a value and knowing it, we would act wisely. That is, for every positive behavior in our direction, we would be open and for any behavior that does not suit us and reconcile with us, we would close immediately.
I will write a separate entry about non-verbal communication, because many people that I observe have a very big problem with reading non-verbal signals and they flutter not completely understanding the situation. But now I will only mention that if someone is late, for example, meeting us, then after informing the person that we do not like this situation and the situation is repeated, we should be late even more than he is. Not because it is manipulation and games. Because this man apparently has a different approach to time than we do. So you have to adapt to his thinking. Or just not meeting at all - this would be the best way but sometimes we care about relationships so we don't want to take too drastic steps. If time is a relative concept for this person, then let it be so for us during meetings with him. If someone ignores us by not replying to us for two days and then saying that he was busy, then we must also accept his values and do exactly the same. Because if someone thinks that his behavior is right with us, then the other way around will also be fine :). Of course, here we are talking about people who are important to us, because if someone who is not so important to us at the moment does so, then of course we say goodbye without analyzing. We don't waste time meeting people for whom we are of no value and they clearly communicate this to us with their behavior. And as you know, behaviours expresses more than a thousand words :)