Before you die, make sure you have lived.

... or how to recognize what the author meant.

The wise book says - '' by their fruits you will know. '' It is worth remembering and more importantly, it is worth implementing it. 1/3 of the problems will solve itself.

In a perfect world, all people would be crystal clear and open to us like a clam in a shell. In an ideal world, everyone would tell us directly about their feelings and intentions. Then of course we would know their intentions and there would be no understatement. BUT. The world does not look like that. Most people will not tell us directly. This is due to the fact that most often they are afraid that we will think about them badly, they can lose a lot, they are afraid to hurt us, they want to get something for themselves, they want to look nice in the eyes of others. Despite this, it is possible to understand the intentions of other people and their intensions towards us very clearly. First, stop listening to what they are saying. Secondly, you should start looking at their actions. And everything will be clear and legible.

Reality is usually much more simple and uncomplicated than we think. If we stop hiding behind illusions, we will listen ouselves and we will not invent stories that are simply not there, we are saved :)

If we are beginning to wonder if anyone cares about us, then most likely this is the answer itself. Because, if someone cares for us, such questions and dilemmas will not arise. If someone does not propose anything specific to us, he does not propose meetings, he does not take any steps towards us,but strongly assures us how much he loves or adrores us, it is not necessary to listen to it. Writers are talented and let them write fairy tales for them. However, people around us can also have very vivid imaginations and tell us the tales of a thousand and one nights. But it must be treated as a story, a fairy tale. Not as truth. It is not necessary to think that someone is shy, has a broken heart and is afraid. Maybe, but it's not a matter for us to analyze. Our analysis should only be subject to whether words coincide with deeds. If not, we already know what's going on. If someone holds us as an emergency exit, then of course he will tell us all the beautiful words that we would like to hear. You don't have to listen to it. Understand - if someone doesn't write to us, they don't want to. Simple as that. If someone does not try to meet us, does not ask us questions, it means that he is not interested in getting to know us. When two people are involved, relationships are relaxed, without stress, without analysis. It's nice and pleasant. My beloved woman says: "if something seems to us, it usually does not seem to us." Worth remembering. And even if we notice a lack of convergence in deeds and words, you do not need to jump higher and higher to interest someone. Never put anyone above you. We simply do not waste time on such rubbish and go further.

I will give a few real-life examples, I have been talking a lot to people about this topic lately and I will simply cite several situations so that you can understand the message better :)

The guy meets the woman and suddenly she says that she will be busy soon because she has projects to do. She stops meeting and doesn't reply. The boy immediately comes up with a great idea to help her because such a poor cluttered with duties. The more he offers help, the more she disappears and does not respond. And the boy asks why she won't simply tell him that she is bored or not want to see him. And that holds him to her and he can't unhook. Because she didn't say. Well, she won't say :)

The woman meets the guy in a sex only relationship. Only she can't see it's sex only. She thinks she's in a relationship. The guy, when they see each other, tells her that he loves her, showers her with compliments, tells her that they are in a relationship, that he misses meetings, tells them what big plans he has for her. Only that between the meetings at her bedroom, he has no time to meet. He is such a loner that he needs to be alone. He doesn't need to go out on dates. He doesn't need to invite her to meet with friends. Of course he finds very objective reasons, so as they say, he gets dry out of the water. She has nothing to attach to. But she feels something is wrong. When asked why she keeps this relationship, she says that he loves her and he is simply a very individualist and she has to be patient. She has been waiting for 8 months. And if it wasn't for telling stupid stories, this story would have ended long ago. She will end up negatively for her anyway. But she could end it now, this circus.

The guy meets a girl on a dating site. They talk very well, they can't sleep at night. Everything is great, and the girl is beautiful. After a few weeks, it's time to transfer your relationship to the real world. They make an appointment, he wags his tail from the very morning. An hour before the meeting, she cancels it. Unfortunately, she has to take her sister to the hospital, emergency situation. Well, anything can happen, right? They make an appointment for the next week. And as you guess, this time the day before she cancels again. Of course, giving a reason that is not subject to discussion. And so another 6 times. The boy sits and understands nothing, worries, wants to help. Still, of course, telephone correspondence at a high level of intensity. When asked why he won't block this girl, he says that it's not her fault, they are still talking so she definitely cares, she is just unlucky, they still fail, but when they finally meet, it will be a happy end. Only he doesn't know that they will never meet.

And such examples can be multiplied indefinitely. I hope that you do not act in this way, because life in itself already brings us enough worries to add them ourselves at our own request.

Greetings to everyone!

There is a famous saying that says, "Treat others as you would like to be treated." It sounds very noble and by doing so we can even feel that we are very good people and such generous. And that we are Mother Teresa of Calcutta, because someone throws stones at us and we answer with an open heart and a friendly smile. Today we will look at why this saying is pointless and how it can be ended by following it. And you can end up as a martyr. Also, start a pipe or whatever you smoke and let's get started :)

There is an opinion, that people are bad, because they use others and take everything for granted. I can agree with this, but it certainly does not result from the fact that people are bad by nature and just waiting to gut us. It's just human nature that if we get something effortlessly, without putting any commitment to what we got, we don't appreciate it as much as when we first have to invest something in getting it. This is normal and nothing surprising at all. We will spend the money we found on the street faster, than the money we earned with hard work putting effort into it and sacrificing a lot. Therefore, by the way, people who win large sums of lotteries very quickly become poorer than they were before.

But.

How then should we treat others? I think the correct answer is in the post title. So just treat them as they do us. We should be open, have good intentions and not to lose energy for revenge, or any senseless behavior that causes us only harm. BUT. Being open, cordial and kind, loving and honest, engage and committed, we should be only towards the people that are like that towards us. You don't have to force our goodness on someone who doesn't appreciate it enough, doesn't want to and doesn't need it. You don't have to jump out ahead and think that you're so good, that angels are already preparing a place in heaven for you. 

A man who gives away his resources, gives attention and energy to any passerby on the street has no respect for himself. If we have no self-respect, we don't demand it from others. People see us exactly as we see ourselves. If for us our resources, our knowledge, our attention and our time is so worthless that we distribute it to the right and left and to anyone, it is obvious that everyone will use it, benefit and spit it out. And the paradox is that most often we blame the whole world about it, how terrible it is. And this is only our fault. Because we don't respect what we've earned. This is probably because we have not put too much into our own development. If it were otherwise, if we were lying on the floor and from this point slowly and with hard work rebuilt your life, then we would sop giving away everything like on a supermarket promotion. We would soon respect and know that we are a value and knowing it, we would act wisely. That is, for every positive behavior in our direction, we would be open and for any behavior that does not suit us and reconcile with us, we would close immediately.

I will write a separate entry about non-verbal communication, because many people that I observe have a very big problem with reading non-verbal signals and they flutter not completely understanding the situation. But now I will only mention that if someone is late, for example, meeting us, then after informing the person that we do not like this situation and the situation is repeated, we should be late even more than he is. Not because it is manipulation and games. Because this man apparently has a different approach to time than we do. So you have to adapt to his thinking. Or just not meeting at all - this would be the best way but sometimes we care about relationships so we don't want to take too drastic steps. If time is a relative concept for this person, then let it be so for us during meetings with him. If someone ignores us by not replying to us for two days and then saying that he was busy, then we must also accept his values ​​and do exactly the same. Because if someone thinks that his behavior is right with us, then the other way around will also be fine :). Of course, here we are talking about people who are important to us, because if someone who is not so important to us at the moment does so, then of course we say goodbye without analyzing. We don't waste time meeting people for whom we are of no value and they clearly communicate this to us with their behavior. And as you know, behaviours expresses more than a thousand words :)